Single word yields best result

Football News: And Finally... Firsts!

And Finally... Firsts!
Image from:

And Finally.....Firsts


If you are like me you have often wondered about firsts. I mean who was the first person to look at a cow's udders and think 'I bet I could get a drink from them?' I am not sure but I bet Ed025 was involved! Speaking of firsts though, why is it the first time I go anywhere new, it doesn't matter where in the world it is, I get asked for directions? Usually it is while I am wandering around lost thinking 'where on earth am I?' And, just to make it difficult, the people asking never understand a single word I am saying, even those rare few that actually speak English just look blank when I start to explain I have no idea where I am, let alone where they want to go.

In general I always just seem, for some reason, to be the one who gets asked for directions. I can remember one day in a pool at a water park and some Russian couple are jabbering at me in Russian, so fast I had absolutely no idea what was going on at all. Then I happened to notice the huge tattoos he had all over himself where all Celtic related and realised he was speaking Glaswegian, not Russian. I have to say I think I would have had more chance understanding them if they had been speaking in Russian to be honest!

Languages are easily confused I guess, at least that is the excuse I am going for when I was waiting for a lift one day stood next to an elderly Arab gentleman who said hello (well assalamualaikum but we will go with hello). So I replied, in perfectly clear well spoken Queen's English, as that is obviously what I use, "alright mate, how are ya?" He looked at me a bit oddly as he got into the lift and I asked him if everything was alright. He was totally blank as he looked at me until, suddenly, it was like a light bulb clicked on and he, out of nowhere, said: "ohhhh, French!" Then proceeded to say to me, very slowly and loudly, like we all do when some idiot foreigner doesn't understand us, as it is clear he is deaf rather than unable to speak English, "dooooo yooouuuu sppeeeeaaaakkkk Ennnggggllliiissshhhh?" I wouldn't have minded but the cheeky get didn't even speak English anyway!!

Anyway, as for firsts, the first football World Cup was held in Uruguay in 1930, and the opening pair of games were held simultaneously in Montevideo on 13th July. France beat Mexico 4-1, while the United States saw off Belgium 3-0. The next day saw the first ever sending off as a Peruvian player was sent off against Romania, though there is an argument over the identity of that player, which says a lot for how well organised the tournament is! FIFA say it was Placido Galindo, most other sources claim Mario de las Casas. Maybe it was Graham Poll's grandad doing the officiating and he showed the red card twice but only sent one off? After all the first card never counts to a Poll.

That was a long, long time after the first Olympic Games, which was held in Athens in 776 BC, with Ed003 competing in the wrestling. Poor Ed025 was just gutted it started after his athletic days had ended. Though, rather confusingly, the first Olympic Games also took place in Athens in 1896. That was what is known as the modern Olympics, the one that still continues to this day. Not sure most of us would consider it all that modern though, except Ed0333, who worked it as a towel boy, something he still considers to be the greatest achievement of his career.

Speaking of the Olympics, Liechenstein is still awaiting its first ever medal at the summer games, despite having taken part in 17 of them! They have managed medals in the Winter Olympics though. The Philippines is awaiting its first ever gold medal at the summer games. They have entered 21 Olympic Games so far in search of one. Maybe the two countries should look into porn-watching habits, if Norwegian skier Odd-Bjoern Hjelmeset is anything to go by. After failing to win the expected gold medal in cross country at the 2010 Winter games, he said: "I think I have seen too much porn in the last 14 days." Which explains why Ed007 never made it as an athlete...

The first man to throw a javelin over 100m in an official event was East German athlete Uwe Hohn in July 1984. He remains the only man ever to do so and his record of 104.8m will stand for all time as the design of the javelin was changed due to the distance he threw it. The throw barely landed on the grass at all and it was feared that it would endanger other athletes if it went any further. Like most of us editors, the javelin increased in weight afterwards, as well as being balanced differently, to stop it going as far.

Ada Hegerberg became the first woman to win the Ballon d'Or, well the Ballon d'Or Feminin version anyway, last year. It was a moment that will only ever be remembered for the host DJ asking her if she knew how to twerk as football showed that the #metoo movement has not quite made it that far. Still, it is probably a step forward from the Sepp Blatter days of suggesting women footballers wear tighter shirts and smaller shorts. A small step. Or possibly a dub step.

One of the most famous of all first is Roger Bannister's 4 minute mile, which was witnessed by a large crowd. However, how many knew that he held that world record for just 46 days before it was broken by an Australian runner named John Landy, Later in the year the pair met in the Commonwealth Games, held in Vancouver, with Bannister once again getting to the finishing post first by a small margin, this time of just two tenths of a second. Bannister was actually a neurologist in his daily life, in the days when athletics really was an amateur sport.

England first took part in a World Cup in 1950, where they were heavy favourites, but suffered a shock defeat to the USA, the first time they had ever lost to them. It was such a shock that many newspapers thought the reported 1-0 USA win was a mistake and it is said that a lot of headlines actually printed that England won 10-1 as they thought that the one had just been missed out. How times have changed!

Written by Tris Burke March 07 2019 18:44:25


Discuss rumours and transfers on our Celtic rumours web page