Matchday 35 - Quick Round Up

Match Day 35 Round Up

Friday 1st May

Leeds United 3-1 Burnley

A comprehensive and fairly comfortable win for Leeds, who rubbed it in at the end by playing a piece of Michael Jackson over the tannoy to celebrate the victory. For those who have missed it, Burnley's interim manager is called Michael Jackson. Leeds did what they have been doing all season and outworked and outfought their opponent, which left a very poor Clarets side with nothing. If they had not eased off, it could have been a big score as well, with Burnley totally unable to cope with Leeds.

Starmen:
Justin - has been an excellent signing, playing multiple positions and all of them well.
Stach - caused absolute havoc while on the pitch. Ran Burnley ragged in an attacking midfield role. Best player on the pitch by a significant margin, his goal set Leeds on the way to the win.
Bogle - always a threat going forward.
Tanaka - did some really good work protecting the back three.
Okafor - a real handful and he got a goal as well.
Calvert-Lewin - bullied the Burnley defence.

Flops:
Flemming - never got into the game.
Ward-Prowse - they needed someone to pick a pass forward but instead got a crab that only goes sideways.
Humphreys - had an awful day.
Hartman - I am not sure what he does well, it is certainly not defending, he was man marking Stach but somehow let him get 20 yards of space to open the scoring.
Dubravka - made a huge error on the opening goal. It was very well placed but he failed to get set, instead was still moving the wrong way and never even made a proper dive to try and stop it. Awful piece of goalkeeping.

Saturday 2nd May

Brentford 3-0 West Ham United

It could have been a very different scoreline but the Hammers lack clinical finishers up front, particularly Pablo. Early on, the Bees looked nervy at the back and if West Ham had put away a chance at that point, they could have gone on and won it. That lack of a proper cutting edge is why they are struggling. Brentford did not look particularly good either, but they scored when chances came their way.

Starmen:
Damsgaard - I am surprised Brentford have kept hold of him so long, he is instrumental to their success.
Thiago - he really does miss a few, but still you cannot argue with his goals record this season.

Flops:
Pablo - runs around a lot but achieves very little.
Fernandes - too many loose passes.
Walker-Peters - could not contain Brentford's attacks at all.
Diouf - not a good defender, completely caught out on the opening goal.
Mavropanos - has really upped his game recently but struggled in this game and was unlucky to score an own goal.
Hermansen - looked all over the place once more, like he did at the start of the season.

Newcastle United 3-1 Brighton & Hove Albion

Just when it looked like the Toon were in danger of being dragged into the relegation dogfight, they pull this result out of the bag. Brighton were able to dominate the ball but offered little real threat, while Newcastle countered on them and caused them real problems. Some poor defending on Brighton's part did not help them at all and they struggled badly to cope with Newcastle's physicality, despite Hurzeler bringing in an MMA fighter to help train his players for dealing with contact at set pieces.

Starmen:
Guimaraes - Newcastle are a much better side with the Brazilian playing.
Murphy - his willingness to cross nice and early, added to his hard work, was key.
Osula - his pace on the break caused a lot of problems for the Seagulls.
Welbeck - just needed some better service.

Flops:
Minteh - was smothered physically every time he got the ball.
Gross - Newcastle's hard-edged approach meant he was not given any chance to do anything.
Wieffer - had a poor game.
van Hecke - error strewn game.
Verbruggen - crazy goalkeeping at times and his kicking was aimless.

Wolverhampton Wanderers 1-1 Sunderland

A bit of a non-entity of a game. Wolves under Edwards play terrible football and big questions will need to be asked of him over the summer. If this is because of the level of players he has being unable to play good football in the Premier League, then that would be understandable. But if he is choosing to play this way, then Wolves will have a decision to make as to whether they continue with him for next season, as this team does not look capable of a quick return playing like this. As for Sunderland, they have clearly run out of gas as the season has gone on. Added to that, safety is assured, so they are lacking the desire to really put it all in like they were earlier in the year. Even so, their ten men were good enough to come away with the point.

Starmen:
H. Bueno - gets forward well down the left. Is one of a very small number of Wolves players who can hold their head up this season.
Xhaka - kept the Mackems together after the sending off.
Mukiele - has stood out since joining Sunderland.
Roefs - has been poor since coming back from injury but this was more like the performances he was putting in before it.

Flops:
Edwards - seems to have no desire to even push for a win against ten men.
Ballard - idiotic sending off for a hair pull. Even more idiotic to have the cheek to argue with the decision!

Arsenal 3-0 Fulham

You have to give credit to Arteta, they have been struggling recently and Man City have closed them down, this was a good time to let them off the leash and go for the throat. Especially against a Fulham side who look to be falling to pieces at the end of the season. With Silva not tied down and his unhappiness with transfers, it is little wonder they are there for the taking. Well done to the Gunners for going out there and taking advantage, not sitting back and just settling for one goal as they have been doing for large parts of the season. It transferred the pressure back to City and gave the crowd a big boost too, bringing them all together for the final weeks of the season, just when the players might need the backing.

Starmen:
Trossard - he has not been at his best recently but he was excellent against Fulham.
Gyokeres - two goals and an assist, as they finally seem to be understanding how to use him.
Saka - up against a weak defender in Robinson, Saka took full advantage to add an assist and goal to his tally for the season.

Flops:
Eze - needs to put some more effort in.
Jimenez - got sat on his arse by Saka for the first goal and never got any service.
Wilson - like Eze, he does not do the hard yards.
Chukwueze - he is in desperate need of coaching and experience, right now he offers little.
Reed - his lack of mobility was badly exposed.
Robinson - his only real asset is pace.

Sunday 3rd May

Bournemouth 3-0 Crystal Palace

Palace have clearly got their eyes on a different prize and played like a team with no real interest in the result, like they have been doing for weeks now. Bournemouth were able to overrun them at ease and probably should have won by a bigger margin.

Starmen:
Scott - ran the midfield.
Rayan - looks a real find for the Cherries.

Flops:
Glasner - has not managed to motivate his team for weeks now in the Premier League.
Pino - weak performance.
Johnson - a really strange buy. He has never looked like he is capable of stepping up to the Premier League.
Lerma - playing against his former team and got an own goal. You have to feel sorry for him as he had a nightmare day.
Henderson - awful.

Manchester United 3-2 Liverpool

First off, you have to say that if these two play this bad in the Champions League next season, they are going to get embarrassed! It really is astonishing that they are both so far up the league table! Man Utd should have had this fully wrapped up by half-time, as they could easily have racked up a cricket score in a dominant first half performance. They were so far ahead of Liverpool that it was looking like the kind of game that would result in an immediate dismissal for Slot afterwards. No excuses can excuse the lack of effort and slovenly play. The second half saw Man Utd clearly realise they might get Slot the sack and so they helped Liverpool out. It is difficult to think of any other explanation for the way they just fell apart and kept giving the ball away. It did take a piece of brilliance from Szoboszlai for the first, but the pass to him was a terrible giveaway by Amad. Once Liverpool equalised, through no real work of their own, they then pretty much sat back and reverted to the same dross as the first half, even after United took the lead again. Shockingly bad and the kind of performance that should have seen Liverpool looking to replace Slot straight after. It is one thing if this was a one-off performance, but almost every performance is the same dross, slow, lethargic and lifeless with no effort. The only question marks about this game surround just how Man Utd only won by one. It felt like United had so much more in the tank if needed.

Starmen:
Shaw - defended well. Though I suppose you have to remember it was up against Frimpong only, however that is not his fault and he did his job extremely well.
Mainoo - scored a goal and showed great energy.

Flops:
Lammens - is that Lammens first mistake leading to a goal against? I think he can be given a pass after being excellent since getting into the side.
Frimpong - he is not a winger and offered nothing playing there.
Mac Allister - I would say shockingly bad, but these kind of performances are now normal for him.
van Dijk - he showed nothing you expect from a captain. Awful performance and did nothing to get the team going when they needed it. Far too busy trying to be cool to defend.
Konate - he is just absolute dog muck, but with less positional sense than a turd.
Robertson - a mistake to play him in this game. Needed Kerkez's energy.
Slot - last season everything he did worked out, this season he seems to pick the wrong option every single time. Maybe he should try actually spending some time on training, rather than buggering off to Holland all the time. Of course the first thing confirmed after the game is that the players would have some time off in the week to spend with their families so he can fly home again. Shocking mismanagement by him. His ego must be enormous to not see that it needed to change months ago.

Aston Villa 1-2 Tottenham Hotspur

There was a clear difference between the two teams and it was simply that Spurs wanted it more. They played like a team with everything on the line and realising that their enormous salaries would automatically be cut if they are relegated is, I am sure, not their only motivating factor. It says just how bad Spurs are that Villa were so truly terrible but they could not put the game properly to bed. Spurs are simply not a good team, they have fully deserved to be in the relegation fight, they are very lucky there have been three other teams as bad. Villa have clearly got their eyes on Europe.

Starmen:
Richarlison - one player whose effort you can never complain about is the Brazilian, normally it is a lack of goals that lets him down, when he is fit, but he scored in this game.
Gallagher - scored and was central to Spurs' play.
Bentancur - one of the very few Spurs players who are better than they have been showing this season.

Flops:
Emery - just looked resigned to this result after picking the wrong team. Left it far too late to make the changes needed.
The whole Villa team - did not work hard enough, let their fans down badly.

Monday 4th May

Chelsea 1-3 Nottingham Forest

Forest showed how to rotate a team with Europe in mind without letting it affect their performance, while Chelsea just looked like lost little boys out there at times. I think it was telling that, right up until he was taken off injured, the youngster on his debut, Derry, was Chelsea's best player. The rest looked absolutely bereft of confidence and defensively all over the place. Being so open when you have two players in midfield that are normally so good at protecting the defence has to be a big worry. The centre-backs played like they had never even seen each other before. Forest looked the opposite, high on confidence and very solid, able to sit back and just absorb pressure after they took the lead. It was a fairly comfortable win, which has almost certainly confirmed safety.

Starmen:
Pedro - the one real bright spot for Chelsea.
Awoniyi - the Chelsea defence could not handle him at all and he got two goals. He also held onto the ball at the penalty so that Jesus would not face any gamesmanship before taking it.
Bakwa - good delivery from wide areas makes a huge difference.
Sels - proved that Palmer in this form is not a cheat code after all when it comes to penalties. Excellent performance, but particularly that penalty save.

Flops:
Sanchez - Chelsea really need an upgrade in goal.
Cucurella - allowed the early ball in for the first goal far too easily.
Adarabioyo and Chalobah - positionally awful and never close enough together. There is just no partnership between the two.
Gusto - how on earth he gets in this team is beyond me. Every week he is poor and/or does something incredibly stupid, like the shirt pull to give away a penalty.
Lavia - looks off the pace.
Palmer - his form has to be a concern now. He is showing little to no sign of getting anywhere near his best.

Everton 3-3 Manchester City

I am not sure anyone saw this one coming! Once Citeh took the lead, it seemed certain that they would run out winners to continue their chase of Arsenal. Instead we were treated to a second half of genuine entertainment and excitement. This was the kind of match we expect of the Premier League, rather than the dross we have had to endure most of the season. City really should have gone in at half time with a bigger lead, but they struggled to turn possession into clear cut chances. The second half saw them fall apart spectacularly and they can count themselves lucky that Ndiaye made a mess of a couple of one-on-one chances, hitting them straight at Donnarumma. They were able to pull themselves together when Everton backed off after scoring their third and the final knockings of the game was just about whether they would score enough to pull a result out of the bag or if they would get caught out on the counter, which they looked very susceptible to.

Starmen:
Garner - not just a grafter, he has a very nice right foot on him and can pick a pass.
Iroegbunam - did a marvellous job of keeping Everton in the game and then driving them forward.
Rohl - looked a much better player than McNeil and it is a wonder he has not had more game time.
Barry - where did this performance come from? Two goals for a player who normally seems to be too busy sulking.
Haaland - he scored, made run after run and even got back to help out against counters. He has improved so much since signing for City.
Doku - two goals and was the main danger point for City. If they had stopped trying to put everything through Cherki, I believe they would have been much better.

Flops:
Cherki - everything went through him, but he did not step up to the plate and take the game by the scruff of the neck. What he does tends to look good, but he does not seem to have that drive and desire to take the game on, like Doku and Haaland displayed.
Gonzalez - was very poor.
Guehi - has been excellent for City since signing but he made a bad error here and it was not a great defensive performance from him.
Kovacic - played like he had forgotten to put studs in his boots. He was slipping and sliding everywhere.