Matchday 5 - Quick Round Up

Match Day 5 Round Up

Friday 18th September

Brentford 3-0 Chelsea

A dreadful first half was followed by Chelsea being dismantled in the second. The Bees saw an opportunity and seized it with both hands, while Chelsea lacked ambition and looked so weak without Pedro up top. Their midfield, despite Barco's long range passing, was ineffectual and provided no protection for the defence and Palmer and Rogers once again offered little help when Chelsea lost possession. With an international break coming up, it was strange to see them leave out Lavia and even more strange not to bring him on when they were struggling so badly in there. The odd thing was, despite Chelsea going into the game clearly intent on firstly keeping a clean sheet, the whole team would absent the midfield the moment they got the ball. It was like watching Liverpool under Slot last season, with everyone rushing to stand in a line along the opposition defensive line and no movement and no cover for the defence. Brentford were able to counter almost at will, making use of the huge gaping spaces that were left.

Starmen:
Schuster - only in the team due to injuries to Collins and van den Berg but he was excellent.
Thiago - finally got his first goal of the season in the league and led the line very well.

Flops:
Kayode - had a really poor night. Looked off the pace, so may have been carrying a knock.
Welbeck - had no understanding of the role he was being asked to play nor did he have any idea of what his teammates were looking for from him.
Rogers/Palmer - unless they are going to start tracking back a little and putting in some effort when the opposition have the ball, Chelsea are going to struggle to make this system work.
Neto - offered nothing.
Henderson/Barco - the pairing did not work at all, Barco is lightweight and did not help out defensively, while Henderson kept dropping off into the backline. Both players were constantly absent from midfield when Brentford won the ball back.
Fofana - the usual game of him being out of position and running around a lot in the wrong places. It is little wonder Chelsea have rarely kept a clean sheet when he plays, he has to be amongst the most overpriced players of all time. His positional sense, or lack thereof, meant Chelsea were basically operating with a back two rather than a three.
Lacroix - a good ball player but not a good defender and his defending was heavily exposed.
Colwill - has not got his form back after returning from injury.

Saturday 19th September

Tottenham Hotspur 2-3 Aston Villa

Spurs started off as the better side and made a few chances, but their failure to take them saw their morale shattered and allowed Villa to take them apart. It was a cruise to the finish until they switched off and allowed Spurs in to pick up a late consolation goal, which could have been an issue when a mistake allowed Spurs to reduce the deficit to just a single goal, but it was too late by then. Spurs were, once again, their own worst enemy. The lack of any kind of fight in their players is costing them, that was really shown up when at one point a Villa player was able to emerge with a ball after a tussle with two Spurs players who simply gave up and left it. The only player who showed any real battling qualities was Gallagher when he came on, and it led to his goal. If they do not grow a spine soon, they will find it is too late. They have one bright sport, which is Savio, who just lacks any end product to go with his ability to drive past players with ease. Villa are beginning to find their feet again, after a tumultuous summer of transfers.

Starmen:
Jackson - he might not be every fans cup of tea, but he had a very good game and his willingness to graft was in stark contrast with Spurs.
Manzambi - on his first Premier League start, the Swiss midfielder was extremely impressive with a goal and an assist testament to his creative input.
Buendia - moved out from the centre and not expected to be the creative hub of the team now Manzambi is in, Buendia was impressive.

Flops:
Kinsky - really needs to learn to be more vocal, could easily have avoided one goal if he had just told Robertson to put it out for a corner.
Robertson - cost a goal by trying to keep a ball in and was generally not very effective. He looks a bit lost, though he did get an assist.
van Hecke - absolute hopeless defending, just stands and watch far too often. Yes he is good on the ball and scored, but his main job is defending and he was abysmal at it, again.
Gray - he is not a good full-back, not sure why Spurs persist with him there.
Fernandes - the only surprise was that he made it to half-time before getting the hook. As he has shown so many times, when things are not going well, he hides and throws his arms up rather than working for the team. It is always someone else's fault according to him, but there is a reason why he keeps dragging teams down.
Solanke - he was about as dangerous as a new born kitten.

Brighton & Hove Albion 3-0 Arsenal

For the last few of these round ups, I had been saying that complacency was the biggest issue Arsenal will face this season, but Brighton proved me completely wrong. The Gunners were not complacent, they were just well beaten by a team that played better than them on the day. The Seagulls were excellent and overran Arsenal at times. They pressed and harried and hassled them out of their stride and the Arsenal players could not cope at all, in fact there was a sign of petulance even from Rice, who kicked out (which should have been a red card without a doubt). Brighton have been improving by the game and this result should probably have been received with less surprise as they have been excellent in recent weeks. Arsenal were poor, but to me it looked like they were made to look far worse by BHA just being right at it. This was not a sign that they are done, but it does show people that they are very beatable and give a blueprint to follow. The only issue is that very few teams in the Premier League are capable of playing to this level and this style, so it is only a limited number of teams who could follow it.

Starmen:
Gross - he seems to be getting better with age and running games to a degree that very few players ever can. Also got a goal and an assist to top off another superb performance.
Andres - a very good debut with the summer signing picking up a goal.
Kostoulas - a goal and an assist for the Greek forward.

Flops:
Gabriel - just for that embarrassingly bad dive alone he deserves to be in this list. How he never got booked I will never understand. Has to be one of the worst dives of all time, up there with Rivaldo clutching his face after the ball hit his leg.
Rice - lucky to escape a red card, but could a retrospective ban be coming his way? Usually it would in these cases. The game was already over, so there was just no need for it, but he was probably angry with the performance from both himself and the team as a whole.
Odegaard - rarely shows up unless the team is playing well and this was just another of those times.
Tzolis - ran around a lot, but not much else.
Timber - normally very good but he had an off day and struggled to cope with Brighton's fast-paced pass and move football.
Konsa - a day he will want to forget.
Guimaraes - could not get to grips with Brighton's midfield.

Nottingham Forest 0-1 Coventry City

Glasner's boring, defensive-first style was slow to work when he was at Palace, so this shock result, against a very average Coventry side, could simply be a consequence of that, but it was an incredibly bad performance. There was no real signs you could point to that suggested things would be better soon in that game. It was just an all-round limp performance, which even Gibbs-White could do nothing to rescue. Forest's squad was built around the wingers, so it is probably no surprise they are struggling to adapt to Glasner's style. Coventry were decent, but no more than that, it was enough to get the win, though it must be said that Forest's equaliser being ruled out is controversial, Coventry did deserve the win on the balance of play. By the letter of the law, it was a foul by Jesus, accidental or not does not matter, but it was very soft and the kind of thing that VAR should not have even looked at. The game would be far better served by VAR remembering the clear and obvious mistake part of their remit and not getting involved in these cases.

Starmen:
Murillo - the Brazilian defender was one of very few bright spots for Forest.
Rudoni - worked so hard breaking up play and also did well on the ball, he has a lovely left foot on him.
Dasilva - he scored the winner, so he has to be included!
Thomas - had an excellent game in the centre of defence.
Pinnock - also stood out for Coventry.

Flops:
Ndoye - never even showed a glimpse of anything.
Munoz - he was very poor defensively.
Mason-Clark - he looked out of his depth at this level.

Everton 1-0 Ipswich Town

Everton are still unbeaten in the league, one of just five teams left unbeaten in the Premier League. I do have one question about this win, did Barry really mean his touch or was he just trying to get out of the way of the shot and it hit him and went in? Each time I saw it, I thought he was trying to avoid it, but the commentators were talking about what a brilliant touch it was. Am I being a bit harsh on the lad? Not that it really matters, he was in the right position and will be credited with the goal either way. Not much else in terms of excitement to talk about, O'Neil has a very poor record against Moyes and this game never seemed close to changing that once the Toffees took an early lead. They were happy to sit back and let Ipswich try and score, but the Tractor Boys lack of quality made Everton's job easier.

Starmen:
Maitland-Niles - it has made such a difference to Everton having an actual right-back playing at right-back.
Barry - got the winning goal, whether luck or skill is irrelevant so long as it goes in the back of the net. He was unlucky to have his second ruled out due to Johnson being offside.

Flops:
Pickford - most of the danger Ipswich caused was due to his errors. He did make some good saves, but he was flapping at balls and giving loose passes which led to most of them.
Dewsbury-Hall - playing him out of position as the attacking mid is doing him no favours. He works so hard for the team but needs to be a little deeper.
Fatawu - rightly sent off for a blatant dive, but you have to question why so few players have got yellows for diving this season, even in this game alone.
Ipswich Town - the rest of the team were lacklustre and seemed to have little idea how to take the game to a team that just sits back and invites them on.

Newcastle United 2-1 Hull City

Newcastle shot into an early 2-0 lead and took charge of the game, pretty much dominating the first half as Hull struggled to recover. It was pretty much game over for the first half as Hull really looked a bit shell shocked by the quick double blow. The Toon missing a penalty late in the first half seemed to give them a boost and they were much better in the second half. Newcastle seemed to have settled for the 2-0 and almost lost it as Hull got one back with plenty of time to spare, but Hull just lacked the quality in the final third to equalise, despite having a good go at picking up an equaliser.

Starmen:
Barnes - two assists and a number of good crosses that should have led to more. He must be furious with the Newcastle forwards who made no attempt to get in the danger area and get at the crosses.
Willock - a good goal to set the Toon on their way.

Flops:
Miley - the youngster made an error leading to Hull's goal.
Wissa - failed to convert the penalty and was generally poor throughout.
Fernandez-Pardo - while he thinks he is a centre-forward, he has yet to show any signs of being one.
Thomas - a very poor performance from the Tigers' late summer signing.
Coyle - never stopped Barnes from crossing.

Sunday 20th September

Bournemouth 0-1 Liverpool

The Cherries were up for the game, clearly wanting to beat their old boss, or at least it seemed that way, but it is hard to tell as their stats show that, so far this season, they are the team that works the hardest and chases, presses and sprints the most. So maybe this was just their normal game. It certainly made it difficult for Liverpool, as they were given little time and space to work with and harried constantly. With Liverpool also trying to press them, it made for a hectic game with large periods which lacked quality, as both teams were not given much of a chance to settle on the ball. The first 25 minutes Bournemouth were the better side, but Liverpool grew into it and took control completely for a period in the second half, though both sides lost a bit of cohesion and control of their play as subs came on. A difficult game but a hard won victory for Liverpool over a tough opponent.

Starmen:
Bournemouth centre-back pairing - they will be really hurt by conceding as they handled Isak really well apart from that.
Gakpo - is having an excellent season and was key to the win.
Jacquet - once again he played very well.
Alisson - could have been a different story with a lesser keeper between the sticks, as he kept the Cherries out with important saves.
Kerkez - dealt with Rayan really well and got forward constantly.

Flops:
Smith - he is looking a spent force, even up against a player who barely tried to even attack him.
Christie - offered so little.
Jebbison - so bad on the ball after coming on, he completely destroyed Bournemouth's attacking play a few times.
Barcola - looked scared to even try and run at the Bournemouth defence, usually opting for the safe option. Worse was his 'defending', he was utterly hopeless and pulled out of more than one chance to make a challenge to just stand and watch the opponent run by him.

Leeds United 0-0 Crystal Palace

A damb squib of a game following on from Leeds' demolition of Newcastle the previous week. Despite both teams heading into the game with a centre-forward on fire, neither team could break the deadlock. It was a much more disappointing result for Leeds, who must be fancy their chances of pushing on a bit this season, while Palace are just trying to completely change their style of play under new manager Sage. Palace will just be looking to stay out of relegation trouble for now and then move up later, when they have adjusted.

Starmen:
Justin - the only member of the defence that was there last season and he had a standout game, though the entire defence played well as a whole.
Okafor - caused a few problems but lacked that final ball at times.
Mitchell - managed to keep Bogle quiet, which takes some doing.

Flops:
Bogle - struggled to get into the game.
Tanaka - has been in very good form, but had an off day.
Strand-Larsen - in tight games like this, his inability to work anything for himself is an issue.

Manchester City 5-3 Sunderland

A crazy game as Sunderland refused to lie down against the Citizens. For once Haaland, despite scoring for the first time ever against Sunderland in the Premier League, was overshadowed by another goalscorer, Brobbey. Brobbey had not scored this season but broke his duck in style with a hat-trick to leave the Mackems' fans chanting at Haaland, "you're a shit Brian Brobbey, a shit Brian Brobbey", much to the Norwegian's amusement. Sunderland will be annoyed with themselves as they were on top ahead of the first Citeh goal and it was a soft free kick to give away. They were very quick to equalise but you cannot concede goals so easily against a top side and expect to come away with any points. What the game did show is that City have the capability to score goals but have a soft underbelly and can be cut open far too easily. They look very susceptible to pressure and do not look the well drilled outfit they were under Guardiola. Sunderland look the same as last season, all high energy and fight, able to cause anyone problems.

Starmen:
Semenyo - two goals and an assist for the winger.
Brobbey - absolutely battered City's defence and got a hat-trick.

Flops:
Donnarumma - he stays rooted to his line, which gave Sunderland space to attack. He does not inspire confidence at all.
Dias - was ragdolled by Brobbey at times.
Danso - gave away the ball with a silly pass for the second City goal.
Roefs - the game might have been totally different if he had not been caught napping for the first goal.

Fulham 1-1 Manchester United

Fulham are a poor side this season, they are weak in attack, slow in midfield and wide open at the back, yet they very nearly managed to beat Man Utd. This was not about how good the Cottagers were at all, they were not good, but the Red Devils were just so bad they made it a difficult game. United came into the season looking half-cooked, underprepared and unfit, they still look like that now. They are being completely outworked by every opponent and look to have no patterns of play to their attack at all. Probably none of this is a surprise with Steve Holland being the man mainly responsible for the coaching of the team, he was a strange choice as he has no idea about coaching attacking play. Chelsea fell away under his coaching, England were hopeless and boring with his style of play clearly evident as being terrible, but somehow he has a stellar reputation, far beyond what he has actually achieved. Like Carrick, he is a charisma-vacuum, which makes them a pairing that is not set up for success in the modern era. They scream mediocrity when working together. It should be said though, to be fair, United did have a lot of shots and just found Leno in good form to stop them. On another day they could have won that game fairly easily. Still though, they do not look like a team.

Starmen:
Leno - made some super stops to keep Man Utd out for most of the game.
Cunha - scored the equaliser and generally played well, but still looks like a player out of position, trying to make the most of it.

Flops:
Castagne - got nowhere near Rashford.
Bobb - what exactly does he offer? I am struggling to figure out what he is, he just seems to make no impression on games.
Garcia - Fulham desperately need a striker, Garcia is either not ready for the Prem or not good enough.
Tielemans - the partnership between him and Mainoo does not work, it should be either/or. His lack of mobility and tracking back is leaving Mainoo exposed constantly and hampering his best qualities.
Shaw - he has never been a great full-back, or even close to it, but he is so unwilling to get forward now it is ridiculous. Fulham were wide open down the flank and he barely even tried to support Rashford.

Written by Tris Burke September 24 2026 16:31:09